To Gene Simmons
Dear Mr. Simmons
I was recently told by my wife to watch your Blood Is Thicker Than Hummus Show because some issues that I have. Like you I harboured anger against my father for things he did while I was a child. He was a drug addict drunk philander. The man while I knew as a boy never met a drug drink or woman he could not pass up. When I was 6 years old I remember my Mom saying to us kids “your Dad has run of with some other woman and left us alone to fend for ourselves.” My Mom was a bit melodramatic at the time. I found out later on he still paid all the bills and gave her the grocery money. The money never would replace what we lost emotionally. He left us emotionally dry and I was the kid who took it the hardest. I called my Mom a liar. At 6 years of age began my anger issues. I was a little boy unable to understand why his Dad no longer love him. He did come back but the drunkenness and women never did stop while growing up. His 80K income would pay the bills for the house until I was 12. At that point he missed up with the IRS and lost the family home. At the same time he also lost most of the family income we he could no longer be bonded Reducing him to a paycheck of about $20,000 for the year. Now this meant that my Mom had to go find work. My parent never fought in front kids. Even though my Mom quiet anger would boil over into the softest scariest whisper ever heard. One time she got angry and couch just shot across the living room. No loud voice ahead just sudden movement. By time I was 16 my Dad moved out for good from the family home but I worked with my Dad cleaning hospital floors. We worked together until I was 18. That was the year that I blew my gasket. I heard that he was to be getting married again but he was never divorced from my Mom. I confronted him. He told me some lie (atleast I never believed him). The quote I remember is “everyone in my life beats me up for trying to help other first your Mom now you Mikey.” I don’t know this quote has stuck with me all these years I am now 45.
I have had numerous long term relationship that have been rocky to say the very best. I have always wanted to share my life and my kids with my Dad but I have been afraid to go find him. My last words to my Dad were extremely angry and filled with hatred. While, that has past and he has probably let the incident go for his own sanity. That final moment with Dad has haunted me through everything I have tried to do. I never finished anything I set out to do. My right now is a mess because of the hatred and angrer I hold for myself. I have 3 very beautiful children by birth and 2 of the most loving step children ever. Like I said things and rocky in all of my relationship at best. I am now separated from my last and most gorgeous, loving, angel for a woman for being nothing more than an unlivable obnoxious idiot of an ogre. This problem has killed business deal gotten me fired from jobs and even cause some minor paranoia.
In a last ditch effort the angel of a woman I just spoke of told me about your show and made me watch it. Sometimes words can be our binding to making us do things. I watched with an attitude of I am nothing at all like you. After all you hold many successes that I have never gotten to. I was in a band but it broke up before it started. I do play music still I was on a praise team for while. Then I friend said now you have the some attitude as him and similar out look. I see it. So I watched and I cried because you showed me how stupid I have been. I have held my anger until I have hurt so many as a man. So here I sit after my wife Dawn has bought me to a crossroad. If I don’t choose wisely I will lose her and all I love. I would to thank you for showing be the enlighten path. When you said how stupid I have been after your brother read the letter from your Dad. I knew what I must do to save my life family and marriage
Thank you
The Angry Dad USA
